In this video, you can see some of the sillier segments that I've written about, if you haven't been able to watch the DVD.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Hit me.
I've taken some recovery time. Much needed.
40:00 [Eager anticipation]
Mike Beckwith starts by informing me that the feeling and seeing they've been encouraging me to feel and see will become an open doorway through which the power of the universe will begin to express. We are presented with a quote from Alexander Graham Bell:
"What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists."
Here is the quote in context:
"I had made up my mind to find that for which I was searching even if it required the remainder of my life. After innumerable failures I finally uncovered the principle for which I was searching, and I was astounded at its simplicity. I was still more astounded to discover the principle I had revealed not only beneficial in the construction of a mechanical hearing aid but it served as well as means of sending the sound of the voice over a wire.
Another discovery which came out of my investigation was the fact that when a man gives his order to produce a definite result and stands by that order it seems to have the effect of giving him what might be termed a second sight which enables him to see right through ordinary problems. What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."
It is clear that Bell was not referring to the magical power of the universe. He was talking about inspiration, keeping mental focus and the mental lucidity that often accompanies "outside the box" thinking.
Canfield asserts that his job is not to be concerned with the "how". The "how" will show up after we believe in the "what". I think he just broke science.
Dooley reiterates (loudly) "The HOWS are the domain of the universe. It always knows the shortest, quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream." Nifty. It boggles my mind, I admit, that the universe is so concerned with my mental fantasies and how to turn them into reality. It almost seems impossible for the universe to know what I'm thinking. So my thoughts are radiating out of my head complete with an encoded message that the universe is interpreting and then rearranging itself to accommodate. I just want to see a shred of evidence here. Any reason for anyone to even consider that this is even a remote possibility.
Vitale explains that "this is where magic and miracles happen". I don't believe in magic. I don't believe in miracles. These people have constructed their house of cards on a unicycle, on a tightrope, over a gaping canyon and in a howling gale. And now they resort to magic and miracles to add some balance.
He gives us the bottom line. Feeling good. That's the bottom line. We want to feel exhilarated by this whole process. "You want to be high, happy, in tune, as much as possible". But not in tune with reality. That's bad.
Next, Marci explains that the successful people who understand the Secret differ from us unenlightened folk in the following way (this is the only difference between them and us, she claims): "...the people who are living in the magic of life have habituated ways of being. They have habituated this process and the magic happens with them wherever they go..." Right. I have simply not become accustomed to the modes of existing. Silly me.
James Ray was reading my mind, since I was just thinking how this stuff doesn't work. According to him, the Secret powers of the universe are about to happen, any minute. But then I am too impatient and just before the universe can get a move on, I say "This isn't working!" and then the universe says "Your wish is my command".
So from that we can deduce there is some sort of lag in this process. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, struggling to get there, almost...universe is about to take action...Clearly there is a lag.
Except for bad thoughts.
Notice that the instant you think a negative thought, the universe overwrites all previous information and receives and decodes your negative emotion immediately. The secret is the most powerful scientific law in the universe according to these people. I would love to see how they worked out that positive emotions experience lag, but negative ones are instantaneous and have priority over all preceding "requests".
John Assaraf regales us with some tales of his doubt and how he wanted to test this law of attraction. Basic rundown: he created "vision boards" where he would stick up pictures of his goals. Cut to five years later, his son wants to know what's in the box after they'd finished moving house. Open the box, haul out the vision boards and voila, they are living in the exact house he had posted a photo of on his vision board five years ago. Not a similar house, the exact same house. He started crying. The universe obviously listened really closely.
More coincidence and confirmation bias. I am sorry that I am not more astounded by this. I have experienced some uncanny and incredibly complex coincidences in my life. Buying a house five years after cutting out a picture of that house doesn't seem that miraculous to me.
What John told his son when this happened was: "Honey, I finally understand how the law of attraction works." I'm going to have to disagree on that, unless he's about to explain how it works. But I doubt that he will, since the "HOWS" are not important, as you may recall.
Yup, no explanation of "how" follows. Only a supposed Einstein quote that seems innocent enough: "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Unfortunately I can find no source for him having said this. He did say other things about imagination, though. Normally I would concede the possibility of him having said this, but we already know these people lie and mine quotes, so I won't give them the benefit of the doubt. It is enough that their entire message is unfounded, I won't back down on those items that should be readily verifiable, such as quotes by famous people.
I'm a little bored by the repetition, so I'm skipping over some of the quotes and anecdotes, in search of something interesting. I mean I'm watching all of it, but I won't comment on it. I've been over it already.
Right now, the greed is surfacing. It's all about how to get more money, more "wealth and prosperity". (I'm guessing the answer "Write a book called "The Secret", then release a DVD with the same title and then some spin-off audio guides" won't be covered in this section.)
Since we can just order whatever we want, if we want cash, we should stipulate the amount. I'm feeling adventurous. Universe, I would like ONE MILLION US DOLLARS in unmarked, non-sequential bills. Thank you. (I was going to ask for ten million, but I didn't want to push my luck.) I'll let you all know if it happens and how long it took. It took the universe 30 days to give Canfield less than $100 000 and five years to get John a big house. So this might take some time.
Hmm, Joe says "it should be believable for you". What the heck, I'm sticking with the million. David Schirmer elucidates on how he solved his bills problem. He used correction fluid (Wite-Out) to alter the amount on his bank statements. He changed the amount to what he wanted it to be, instead of what it was. I don't recommend doing this, for the sake of accurate record keeping purposes, but that's up to you, the reader.
Loral Langemeier was raised to believe that you get money through hard work, but thanks to the secret, she "visualised" it as coming "easily and frequently". In the beginning, she acknowledges, this will be hard. She admits that they are instructing us to lie to ourselves. She describes it as a "little tennis-match that will go on for a while". Until the delusion sticks. Loral is the most honest one so far. I like her.
Money money money. Still going on about it, turning statues to gold in the accompanying clips, with the power of thought, mind you...money money money.
For Marie Diamond (the Feng Shui Consultant), the secret means that we are creators of our own universe. She relates a story about a client who had a lot of paintings in his home of stand-offish ladies. She guessed that he was struggling in the romance department (she was in his home, obviously she noticed the lack of feminine touches or items) and he was shocked at her insight. When she pointed out the paintings, he explained that he had painted them himself. This was even worse, she exclaimed, because he is actively bringing those types of women into his romantic life. The solution to his lackluster love life was replacing the paintings with portraits depicting three women and hanging them in every corner. See, he wanted to date three women per week.
The male actor playing this part is not only a bad actor, but a convincing male chauvinist. When Marie asked him six months later how his love life was, his response was "Great! They just call me, they all wanna date me! Now I have like three dates a week! People are fighting over me!" Maybe you need to hear it to experience how smugly he says that. Luckily he is now asking for stability, marriage. Marie's advice is to paint it!
If I paint what I want and hang the images all around me, is that enough? Do they consider this extreme visualisation? Hold on, hold on, hang on a minute here. Now she is explaining that this man held these wishes inside him for years, but because his outer environment (his home) contradicted his feelings, the universe never caught on. So the universe gave him bad romances, because his HOUSE had paintings of cold and distant women? Even though he held the correct "wishes" in his mind? Colour me completely confused here, lady!
We've moved on to relationships now, leaving money behind. Ray wants to know how we can expect others to enjoy our company if we don't even enjoy our own company? Very Dr Phil - "How much fun are you to be around?" Hardly a secret, though.
Lisa Nichols (author) has a very soothing, soft voice. She used a pleasing tone and what she says makes sense. She wants us to love ourselves before we enter into relationships. She asks us not to expect our partners to show us our beauty, we must find ourselves beautiful first. I agree with her wholeheartedly, one should not look to others for personal happiness. That's great, Lisa, what are you doing on this DVD?
Esther Hicks displays a very odd discrepancy between her speech and her facial expressions. Maybe it's just me, but while she is saying innocent things ("We recommend that you take a notebook"), she appears to be sneering with mild derision. It's strange, her face doesn't match what she's saying. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm bored and seeing more than what is really there.
Now we're hearing from Quantum Physicist John Hagelin again. "It's important to recognise that our body is really the product of our thoughts. We're beginning to understand in medical science the degree to which the nature of thoughts and emotions actually determines the physical substance and structure and function of our bodies." No references to any papers here.
Demartini mentions the placebo effect. Nice move, muddling reality with this "Secret" fiction. Thank goodness he suggests taking the medication prescribed to you while trying to find the cause for your ailment in your mind. Brownie points for you, John D!
I tuned out when Esther started talking. Listen to what she says, while they play cheerfully soothing music and show us pretty clips of plants growing and flowers blooming (ellipses indicate lengthy pauses, not omissions):
"There is only...a stream of wellbeing that flows [inaudible]...it is a stream of pure positive energy. And the universe...all that we know, is abundant with only that. This is a world that is based upon wellbeing, and wellbeing dramatically abounds. And when you are allowing that stream to flow, in its fullness, you feel very very good. And when you are pinching it off a bit, you feel not so good. There is only a stream of goodness or wellbeing, which you are allowing or not. And your magnificent emotions are telling you what the mix is. How you're doing in your allowing or your resisting of this connection."
At this point, I would like to remind you all again that "It’s a LAW - not a feel-good principle or some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out." Stream of wellbeing. Pure positive energy. Wellbeing dramatically abounds. This connection. Yes, all sound scientific terminology. If your definition of "sound scientific terminology" is "new-age voodoo flake-out".
Ben Johnson refers to "diagnoses" using scare quotes for reasons I cannot fathom. He says there are thousands of diagnoses and disease out there, but they're just the weak link. They are all the result of one thing: stress.
Warning Bells! A very effective way to identify quackery is to watch out for the "single cause, single cure" line. A quack will have one cure to sell, be it a potion or a machine or a secret power. In order to make his cure effective for all ailments, he must posit a single cause. "Stress is the underlying cause of all that ails you, try my potion". In some cases it may be vitamin deficiency (take our vitamins, just in case!), fluoride in water (buy our water filter!), electromagnetic rays emitted by household appliances (stick this crystal on your phone!) and so on.
Demartini postulates that our bodies devise diseases to give us feedback. Presumably my body changes itself to attract the right types of germs when it needs to give me certain feedback. I don't know how this is supposed to work, because they're making a lot of claims without any evidence to back it up.
Ok, I've reached my limit for now. Beckwith discusses a frequently asked question. When a person has manifested a disease, can it be turned around through the power of positive thought? His answer is absolutely yes. Sickening. People don't bring diseases upon themselves through the power of thought, nor can the power of thought reverse diseases. These people ought to be ashamed of themselves!
End: 01:01:38.
40:00 [Eager anticipation]
Mike Beckwith starts by informing me that the feeling and seeing they've been encouraging me to feel and see will become an open doorway through which the power of the universe will begin to express. We are presented with a quote from Alexander Graham Bell:
"What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists."Here is the quote in context:
"I had made up my mind to find that for which I was searching even if it required the remainder of my life. After innumerable failures I finally uncovered the principle for which I was searching, and I was astounded at its simplicity. I was still more astounded to discover the principle I had revealed not only beneficial in the construction of a mechanical hearing aid but it served as well as means of sending the sound of the voice over a wire.
Another discovery which came out of my investigation was the fact that when a man gives his order to produce a definite result and stands by that order it seems to have the effect of giving him what might be termed a second sight which enables him to see right through ordinary problems. What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."
It is clear that Bell was not referring to the magical power of the universe. He was talking about inspiration, keeping mental focus and the mental lucidity that often accompanies "outside the box" thinking.
Canfield asserts that his job is not to be concerned with the "how". The "how" will show up after we believe in the "what". I think he just broke science.
Dooley reiterates (loudly) "The HOWS are the domain of the universe. It always knows the shortest, quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream." Nifty. It boggles my mind, I admit, that the universe is so concerned with my mental fantasies and how to turn them into reality. It almost seems impossible for the universe to know what I'm thinking. So my thoughts are radiating out of my head complete with an encoded message that the universe is interpreting and then rearranging itself to accommodate. I just want to see a shred of evidence here. Any reason for anyone to even consider that this is even a remote possibility.
Vitale explains that "this is where magic and miracles happen". I don't believe in magic. I don't believe in miracles. These people have constructed their house of cards on a unicycle, on a tightrope, over a gaping canyon and in a howling gale. And now they resort to magic and miracles to add some balance.
He gives us the bottom line. Feeling good. That's the bottom line. We want to feel exhilarated by this whole process. "You want to be high, happy, in tune, as much as possible". But not in tune with reality. That's bad.
Next, Marci explains that the successful people who understand the Secret differ from us unenlightened folk in the following way (this is the only difference between them and us, she claims): "...the people who are living in the magic of life have habituated ways of being. They have habituated this process and the magic happens with them wherever they go..." Right. I have simply not become accustomed to the modes of existing. Silly me.
James Ray was reading my mind, since I was just thinking how this stuff doesn't work. According to him, the Secret powers of the universe are about to happen, any minute. But then I am too impatient and just before the universe can get a move on, I say "This isn't working!" and then the universe says "Your wish is my command".
So from that we can deduce there is some sort of lag in this process. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, struggling to get there, almost...universe is about to take action...Clearly there is a lag.
Except for bad thoughts.
Notice that the instant you think a negative thought, the universe overwrites all previous information and receives and decodes your negative emotion immediately. The secret is the most powerful scientific law in the universe according to these people. I would love to see how they worked out that positive emotions experience lag, but negative ones are instantaneous and have priority over all preceding "requests".
John Assaraf regales us with some tales of his doubt and how he wanted to test this law of attraction. Basic rundown: he created "vision boards" where he would stick up pictures of his goals. Cut to five years later, his son wants to know what's in the box after they'd finished moving house. Open the box, haul out the vision boards and voila, they are living in the exact house he had posted a photo of on his vision board five years ago. Not a similar house, the exact same house. He started crying. The universe obviously listened really closely.
More coincidence and confirmation bias. I am sorry that I am not more astounded by this. I have experienced some uncanny and incredibly complex coincidences in my life. Buying a house five years after cutting out a picture of that house doesn't seem that miraculous to me.
What John told his son when this happened was: "Honey, I finally understand how the law of attraction works." I'm going to have to disagree on that, unless he's about to explain how it works. But I doubt that he will, since the "HOWS" are not important, as you may recall.
Yup, no explanation of "how" follows. Only a supposed Einstein quote that seems innocent enough: "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Unfortunately I can find no source for him having said this. He did say other things about imagination, though. Normally I would concede the possibility of him having said this, but we already know these people lie and mine quotes, so I won't give them the benefit of the doubt. It is enough that their entire message is unfounded, I won't back down on those items that should be readily verifiable, such as quotes by famous people.
I'm a little bored by the repetition, so I'm skipping over some of the quotes and anecdotes, in search of something interesting. I mean I'm watching all of it, but I won't comment on it. I've been over it already.
Right now, the greed is surfacing. It's all about how to get more money, more "wealth and prosperity". (I'm guessing the answer "Write a book called "The Secret", then release a DVD with the same title and then some spin-off audio guides" won't be covered in this section.)
Since we can just order whatever we want, if we want cash, we should stipulate the amount. I'm feeling adventurous. Universe, I would like ONE MILLION US DOLLARS in unmarked, non-sequential bills. Thank you. (I was going to ask for ten million, but I didn't want to push my luck.) I'll let you all know if it happens and how long it took. It took the universe 30 days to give Canfield less than $100 000 and five years to get John a big house. So this might take some time.
Hmm, Joe says "it should be believable for you". What the heck, I'm sticking with the million. David Schirmer elucidates on how he solved his bills problem. He used correction fluid (Wite-Out) to alter the amount on his bank statements. He changed the amount to what he wanted it to be, instead of what it was. I don't recommend doing this, for the sake of accurate record keeping purposes, but that's up to you, the reader.
Loral Langemeier was raised to believe that you get money through hard work, but thanks to the secret, she "visualised" it as coming "easily and frequently". In the beginning, she acknowledges, this will be hard. She admits that they are instructing us to lie to ourselves. She describes it as a "little tennis-match that will go on for a while". Until the delusion sticks. Loral is the most honest one so far. I like her.
Money money money. Still going on about it, turning statues to gold in the accompanying clips, with the power of thought, mind you...money money money.
For Marie Diamond (the Feng Shui Consultant), the secret means that we are creators of our own universe. She relates a story about a client who had a lot of paintings in his home of stand-offish ladies. She guessed that he was struggling in the romance department (she was in his home, obviously she noticed the lack of feminine touches or items) and he was shocked at her insight. When she pointed out the paintings, he explained that he had painted them himself. This was even worse, she exclaimed, because he is actively bringing those types of women into his romantic life. The solution to his lackluster love life was replacing the paintings with portraits depicting three women and hanging them in every corner. See, he wanted to date three women per week.
The male actor playing this part is not only a bad actor, but a convincing male chauvinist. When Marie asked him six months later how his love life was, his response was "Great! They just call me, they all wanna date me! Now I have like three dates a week! People are fighting over me!" Maybe you need to hear it to experience how smugly he says that. Luckily he is now asking for stability, marriage. Marie's advice is to paint it!
If I paint what I want and hang the images all around me, is that enough? Do they consider this extreme visualisation? Hold on, hold on, hang on a minute here. Now she is explaining that this man held these wishes inside him for years, but because his outer environment (his home) contradicted his feelings, the universe never caught on. So the universe gave him bad romances, because his HOUSE had paintings of cold and distant women? Even though he held the correct "wishes" in his mind? Colour me completely confused here, lady!
We've moved on to relationships now, leaving money behind. Ray wants to know how we can expect others to enjoy our company if we don't even enjoy our own company? Very Dr Phil - "How much fun are you to be around?" Hardly a secret, though.
Lisa Nichols (author) has a very soothing, soft voice. She used a pleasing tone and what she says makes sense. She wants us to love ourselves before we enter into relationships. She asks us not to expect our partners to show us our beauty, we must find ourselves beautiful first. I agree with her wholeheartedly, one should not look to others for personal happiness. That's great, Lisa, what are you doing on this DVD?
Esther Hicks displays a very odd discrepancy between her speech and her facial expressions. Maybe it's just me, but while she is saying innocent things ("We recommend that you take a notebook"), she appears to be sneering with mild derision. It's strange, her face doesn't match what she's saying. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm bored and seeing more than what is really there.
Now we're hearing from Quantum Physicist John Hagelin again. "It's important to recognise that our body is really the product of our thoughts. We're beginning to understand in medical science the degree to which the nature of thoughts and emotions actually determines the physical substance and structure and function of our bodies." No references to any papers here.
Demartini mentions the placebo effect. Nice move, muddling reality with this "Secret" fiction. Thank goodness he suggests taking the medication prescribed to you while trying to find the cause for your ailment in your mind. Brownie points for you, John D!
I tuned out when Esther started talking. Listen to what she says, while they play cheerfully soothing music and show us pretty clips of plants growing and flowers blooming (ellipses indicate lengthy pauses, not omissions):
"There is only...a stream of wellbeing that flows [inaudible]...it is a stream of pure positive energy. And the universe...all that we know, is abundant with only that. This is a world that is based upon wellbeing, and wellbeing dramatically abounds. And when you are allowing that stream to flow, in its fullness, you feel very very good. And when you are pinching it off a bit, you feel not so good. There is only a stream of goodness or wellbeing, which you are allowing or not. And your magnificent emotions are telling you what the mix is. How you're doing in your allowing or your resisting of this connection."
At this point, I would like to remind you all again that "It’s a LAW - not a feel-good principle or some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out." Stream of wellbeing. Pure positive energy. Wellbeing dramatically abounds. This connection. Yes, all sound scientific terminology. If your definition of "sound scientific terminology" is "new-age voodoo flake-out".
Ben Johnson refers to "diagnoses" using scare quotes for reasons I cannot fathom. He says there are thousands of diagnoses and disease out there, but they're just the weak link. They are all the result of one thing: stress.
Warning Bells! A very effective way to identify quackery is to watch out for the "single cause, single cure" line. A quack will have one cure to sell, be it a potion or a machine or a secret power. In order to make his cure effective for all ailments, he must posit a single cause. "Stress is the underlying cause of all that ails you, try my potion". In some cases it may be vitamin deficiency (take our vitamins, just in case!), fluoride in water (buy our water filter!), electromagnetic rays emitted by household appliances (stick this crystal on your phone!) and so on.
Demartini postulates that our bodies devise diseases to give us feedback. Presumably my body changes itself to attract the right types of germs when it needs to give me certain feedback. I don't know how this is supposed to work, because they're making a lot of claims without any evidence to back it up.
Ok, I've reached my limit for now. Beckwith discusses a frequently asked question. When a person has manifested a disease, can it be turned around through the power of positive thought? His answer is absolutely yes. Sickening. People don't bring diseases upon themselves through the power of thought, nor can the power of thought reverse diseases. These people ought to be ashamed of themselves!
End: 01:01:38.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Onwards!
31:30 [A sense of dread has started accompanying this ritual]
We start with their favourite bit of filler - the flashy bits.
I would like you to know that I am now sitting here, staring at my screen in horror. I'm struggling to finish chewing my bacon flavoured biscuit, I am just that astounded. The initial nonsense was much of the same (something about feeling trapped, yadda yadda) but then that Esther women dropped a bomb. If I didn't have food in my mouth, I would be on my knees, calling out to Karl Popper to come and save me.
Apparently the reason why we are stuck in cycles of "bad stuff" (bills, bills, bills) is because we have the same thoughts over and over again and the reason for our looping thought process is:
Most people offer the majority of their thought in response to what they are observing.
Good Karl. I am not even sure where to start on this one, my mind is simply reeling. With lots of new and unusual thoughts. A lot of things make sense to me now. These people have just admitted that they are completely cut off from reality and basically just making stuff up. While normal people observe the world through five senses and devote some brain power to analysing the data they collect (ranging from the basics - "duck!" - to more complex musings - "Jenna has lovely legs, I wonder if she's single..."), these people poo-poo that practise. Don't mentally respond to observations about the world around you! That's a bad direction for your thoughts to travel in! You should think about the unobserved, focus on things that don't happen, such as laws of attraction and the universe rearranging itself to suit your desires.
James Ray struggles with the concept of linear time. He thinks that most people look at their current situation and think "this is who I am". He assures us that, right now, in our current situations, we are not who we are. We are who we...(he really pauses here)...were!
He gets even funnier. I need popcorn. Hmmm, yummy.
"You see, if you look at your current state of affairs right now, let's say for instance that you don't have a lot of money in your bank account, uh, or you don't have the relationship that you want or your health and fitness isn't up to par, that's not who you are! That's the residual outcome of your past thoughts and actions. So we're constantly living in this residual, if you will, of the thoughts and actions we've taken in the past. When you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you...you doom yourself! To have nothing more than the same in the future."
Phew! That's a lot of mindless repetition. Let's see. Indeed our past actions lead us to our current situations. Murdering in the past might get us in jail in the present. But that is very much who we are. A currently incarcerated murderer. It's known as "living in reality". But people really should not be looking at their "state of affairs" to define themselves by. Who we are is defined by our minds, our personalities. I will be the same me whether in jail or on an island, sipping cocktails. My mood might be different, but I have never defined myself by my external surroundings or external state of affairs or how much money I have or whether I have a boyfriend or not or whether I was ill or healthy. To do so is to be misguided.
Now we get to the bit Oprah must have liked. Powerful processes, bla bla, the first on the list is gratitude. This list will help us turn things around, by the way. Joe tells us that gratitude will "shift your energy". This is the same Joe, who on his Missing Secret website, assures us that we are not dealing with "some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out". Energy. Shifting energy. Somehow I don't think he's talking about "the capacity for vigorous activity; available power". I think what Joe has in mind is more...wispy. And non-existent.
I am so bored now that I can feel my brain trying to gnaw its way out of my skull in search of greener grass. I'm going to just go over this superficially.
Yes! A new face! The prettiest one yet. "Marci Shimoff MBA - Author". Thank you universe for circumventing that pesky rule of negation and giving me the opposite of what I was attracting! And here's more! John Gray, who believes men are Martians and women are Venusians. He appears to have some highlighter make-up under his eyes. Clever trick, makes you look younger and fresh-faced. Good for you, John. Lee Brower, a teacher, makes an appearance. Honestly, nobody is saying anything worth repeating. It's all "be grateful for what you have, even if it's not what you want, you might soon get what you want". Boring.
Lee carries what he calls a "rock" with him, but I'd describe it as a "pebble". Every time he touches this pebble, he must come up with something he is grateful for.
We're supposed to take advice from the kinds of people who carry rocks in their pockets. Sheesh! A guy from South Africa once saw Lee drop the pebble and asked him what it was. Upon explanation, the South African man (who is black, by the way) started calling it a "gratitude rock". Two weeks later, the man emailed him from South Africa. Cue images of dying boy lying on bed while the father types his letter on the computer. They are both covered in sweat, because it's hot here in Africa, you know. The boy is dying of a rare disease, (his stomach is swollen and he is sweating, so probably feverish) a type of hepatitis. The man requests three "gratitude rocks" to be sent to him. I must also add that, you know, because we're living on the dark continent, the boy has a carved wooden lion and what appears to be a small skull on his bedside table.
Lee laughs at the man's stupidity - "Now they're just rocks that I found off the street, you know?" *laughs* "So I said "sure!" He did make sure that the rocks were very special, so he picked them out from a stream and sent them off. About four months later the man sent another letter, his son is better, doing terrific. He also wants Lee to know that they have sold over 1000 rocks at $10 a piece. Now we see them handling rocks over a sign written in Afrikaans, my first language. It is derived from Dutch and not really spoken by black people much. We have 11 official languages and most black people speak Xhosa or Zulu and English. Anyway, this man can certainly be an exception. Why not.
The poster reads: Dankie Klippe - R10 - Alle winste word geskenk aan die kinder hospitaal.
That translates into "Thank you rocks - R10 - all profits are donated to the children's hospital".
I would also like to point out that R10 is definitely not $10, like Lee said. $10 for a rock would be a rip-off. They were selling the rocks for about $1.40 (a little bit less with the current exchange rate). Lee concludes that it is very important to be in an Attitude of Gratitude, as he calls it.
So fondling a pebble and being thankful for things while your son is dying of a rare disease will make him better. That, or using the perfectly capable doctors we have here in the perfectly adequate hospitals. Despite being a third-world country, we do manage to achieve greatness on the medical front, occasionally. That whole heart-transplant thing was thought up right here on African soil by a South African doctor. I digress.
Joe can't find the words to describe how powerful this next tool is going to be for us. It's "so huge". But apparently not huge and powerful enough, because we still need that "Missing Secret", ey Joe? This powerful process is "Visualize" Look, I even overcame my pedantry and used the American spelling, like they did. *hiss*
"When you visualize, then you materialize". U-huh. I visualise several things on a nightly basis and I have yet to wake up with the cool green eyes of HIM singer Ville Valo staring into mine. (I figured my Johnny Depp infatuation was getting old, but I also admire Ville and British actor Paul Bettany...yum! I'm vi-zjoo-a-lize-ing really hard!)
Now we're listening to some guy who doesn't seem to understand how visualisation can signal the same muscles in the same sequence as the action itself can. What he is saying is when I think about running, my brain sends signals to my leg muscles in a certain sequence, and that corresponds to the signals my brain sends to those same leg muscles when I actually run. He concludes that the brain does not know the difference between thinking about it and doing it. Hehe. Good stuff. Without hauling out my big books here, I'm going to venture a very basic explanation:
Visualising it: I think about running. My mind sends the signal to the muscles "run!" This signal is followed, before implementation of the first signal, by a restraining order - "don't really run!"
Running: I think about running. My mind sends the signal to the muscles "run!" With no secondary signal to prevent the action, I run.
Anyway, this is just me musing, I don't even know if his test results were accurate and scientific, so let's go on.
Dooley tells us to "always and only dwell on end results" when we're visualising. Aw! That would mean skipping all the juicy bits inbetween Ville staring into my eyes and us driving along the highway in a really great car!
Ooh! Neat coincidence now. We're told to look at our hands, really look at our hands (mine are a bit scarred from kickboxing, a car accident and a burn wound, because life is rough here in the jungles of Africa) and then visualising our fingers curling around the steering wheel of the car we want. Ville should be doing that, though, because in my visualisation, he's driving.
Joe again, telling us how real this experience will feel and how we won't feel like we need the car, because it will feel like we already have it. So practise these delusional tactics, everyone. Soon you'll have everything you want. Inside your mind.
Now it's the "feeling" that's attracting stuff. It's not about thinking about it and picturing it, but it's really the feeling of already having it that does the job. Just to be safe, I'll think about it, picture it, desire it, feel it and pretend it has already happened, because I'm confused by all this mucking about. And I'll do all that passionately. So that the universe can respond speedily.
Oh good, Bob's back for a sentence. "This is where the secret really moves into action." Thanks Bob. Missed you.
I'm stopping at 40 minutes into this joke. Last sentence: "How bad do you want change?"
It's how "badly", Mike Dooley. 49 minutes to go. Badly.
We start with their favourite bit of filler - the flashy bits.
I would like you to know that I am now sitting here, staring at my screen in horror. I'm struggling to finish chewing my bacon flavoured biscuit, I am just that astounded. The initial nonsense was much of the same (something about feeling trapped, yadda yadda) but then that Esther women dropped a bomb. If I didn't have food in my mouth, I would be on my knees, calling out to Karl Popper to come and save me.
Apparently the reason why we are stuck in cycles of "bad stuff" (bills, bills, bills) is because we have the same thoughts over and over again and the reason for our looping thought process is:
Most people offer the majority of their thought in response to what they are observing.
Good Karl. I am not even sure where to start on this one, my mind is simply reeling. With lots of new and unusual thoughts. A lot of things make sense to me now. These people have just admitted that they are completely cut off from reality and basically just making stuff up. While normal people observe the world through five senses and devote some brain power to analysing the data they collect (ranging from the basics - "duck!" - to more complex musings - "Jenna has lovely legs, I wonder if she's single..."), these people poo-poo that practise. Don't mentally respond to observations about the world around you! That's a bad direction for your thoughts to travel in! You should think about the unobserved, focus on things that don't happen, such as laws of attraction and the universe rearranging itself to suit your desires.
James Ray struggles with the concept of linear time. He thinks that most people look at their current situation and think "this is who I am". He assures us that, right now, in our current situations, we are not who we are. We are who we...(he really pauses here)...were!
He gets even funnier. I need popcorn. Hmmm, yummy.
"You see, if you look at your current state of affairs right now, let's say for instance that you don't have a lot of money in your bank account, uh, or you don't have the relationship that you want or your health and fitness isn't up to par, that's not who you are! That's the residual outcome of your past thoughts and actions. So we're constantly living in this residual, if you will, of the thoughts and actions we've taken in the past. When you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you...you doom yourself! To have nothing more than the same in the future."
Phew! That's a lot of mindless repetition. Let's see. Indeed our past actions lead us to our current situations. Murdering in the past might get us in jail in the present. But that is very much who we are. A currently incarcerated murderer. It's known as "living in reality". But people really should not be looking at their "state of affairs" to define themselves by. Who we are is defined by our minds, our personalities. I will be the same me whether in jail or on an island, sipping cocktails. My mood might be different, but I have never defined myself by my external surroundings or external state of affairs or how much money I have or whether I have a boyfriend or not or whether I was ill or healthy. To do so is to be misguided.
Now we get to the bit Oprah must have liked. Powerful processes, bla bla, the first on the list is gratitude. This list will help us turn things around, by the way. Joe tells us that gratitude will "shift your energy". This is the same Joe, who on his Missing Secret website, assures us that we are not dealing with "some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out". Energy. Shifting energy. Somehow I don't think he's talking about "the capacity for vigorous activity; available power". I think what Joe has in mind is more...wispy. And non-existent.
I am so bored now that I can feel my brain trying to gnaw its way out of my skull in search of greener grass. I'm going to just go over this superficially.
Yes! A new face! The prettiest one yet. "Marci Shimoff MBA - Author". Thank you universe for circumventing that pesky rule of negation and giving me the opposite of what I was attracting! And here's more! John Gray, who believes men are Martians and women are Venusians. He appears to have some highlighter make-up under his eyes. Clever trick, makes you look younger and fresh-faced. Good for you, John. Lee Brower, a teacher, makes an appearance. Honestly, nobody is saying anything worth repeating. It's all "be grateful for what you have, even if it's not what you want, you might soon get what you want". Boring.
Lee carries what he calls a "rock" with him, but I'd describe it as a "pebble". Every time he touches this pebble, he must come up with something he is grateful for.
We're supposed to take advice from the kinds of people who carry rocks in their pockets. Sheesh! A guy from South Africa once saw Lee drop the pebble and asked him what it was. Upon explanation, the South African man (who is black, by the way) started calling it a "gratitude rock". Two weeks later, the man emailed him from South Africa. Cue images of dying boy lying on bed while the father types his letter on the computer. They are both covered in sweat, because it's hot here in Africa, you know. The boy is dying of a rare disease, (his stomach is swollen and he is sweating, so probably feverish) a type of hepatitis. The man requests three "gratitude rocks" to be sent to him. I must also add that, you know, because we're living on the dark continent, the boy has a carved wooden lion and what appears to be a small skull on his bedside table.
Lee laughs at the man's stupidity - "Now they're just rocks that I found off the street, you know?" *laughs* "So I said "sure!" He did make sure that the rocks were very special, so he picked them out from a stream and sent them off. About four months later the man sent another letter, his son is better, doing terrific. He also wants Lee to know that they have sold over 1000 rocks at $10 a piece. Now we see them handling rocks over a sign written in Afrikaans, my first language. It is derived from Dutch and not really spoken by black people much. We have 11 official languages and most black people speak Xhosa or Zulu and English. Anyway, this man can certainly be an exception. Why not.
The poster reads: Dankie Klippe - R10 - Alle winste word geskenk aan die kinder hospitaal.
That translates into "Thank you rocks - R10 - all profits are donated to the children's hospital".
I would also like to point out that R10 is definitely not $10, like Lee said. $10 for a rock would be a rip-off. They were selling the rocks for about $1.40 (a little bit less with the current exchange rate). Lee concludes that it is very important to be in an Attitude of Gratitude, as he calls it.
So fondling a pebble and being thankful for things while your son is dying of a rare disease will make him better. That, or using the perfectly capable doctors we have here in the perfectly adequate hospitals. Despite being a third-world country, we do manage to achieve greatness on the medical front, occasionally. That whole heart-transplant thing was thought up right here on African soil by a South African doctor. I digress.
Joe can't find the words to describe how powerful this next tool is going to be for us. It's "so huge". But apparently not huge and powerful enough, because we still need that "Missing Secret", ey Joe? This powerful process is "Visualize" Look, I even overcame my pedantry and used the American spelling, like they did. *hiss*
"When you visualize, then you materialize". U-huh. I visualise several things on a nightly basis and I have yet to wake up with the cool green eyes of HIM singer Ville Valo staring into mine. (I figured my Johnny Depp infatuation was getting old, but I also admire Ville and British actor Paul Bettany...yum! I'm vi-zjoo-a-lize-ing really hard!)
Now we're listening to some guy who doesn't seem to understand how visualisation can signal the same muscles in the same sequence as the action itself can. What he is saying is when I think about running, my brain sends signals to my leg muscles in a certain sequence, and that corresponds to the signals my brain sends to those same leg muscles when I actually run. He concludes that the brain does not know the difference between thinking about it and doing it. Hehe. Good stuff. Without hauling out my big books here, I'm going to venture a very basic explanation:
Visualising it: I think about running. My mind sends the signal to the muscles "run!" This signal is followed, before implementation of the first signal, by a restraining order - "don't really run!"
Running: I think about running. My mind sends the signal to the muscles "run!" With no secondary signal to prevent the action, I run.
Anyway, this is just me musing, I don't even know if his test results were accurate and scientific, so let's go on.
Dooley tells us to "always and only dwell on end results" when we're visualising. Aw! That would mean skipping all the juicy bits inbetween Ville staring into my eyes and us driving along the highway in a really great car!
Ooh! Neat coincidence now. We're told to look at our hands, really look at our hands (mine are a bit scarred from kickboxing, a car accident and a burn wound, because life is rough here in the jungles of Africa) and then visualising our fingers curling around the steering wheel of the car we want. Ville should be doing that, though, because in my visualisation, he's driving.
Joe again, telling us how real this experience will feel and how we won't feel like we need the car, because it will feel like we already have it. So practise these delusional tactics, everyone. Soon you'll have everything you want. Inside your mind.
Now it's the "feeling" that's attracting stuff. It's not about thinking about it and picturing it, but it's really the feeling of already having it that does the job. Just to be safe, I'll think about it, picture it, desire it, feel it and pretend it has already happened, because I'm confused by all this mucking about. And I'll do all that passionately. So that the universe can respond speedily.
Oh good, Bob's back for a sentence. "This is where the secret really moves into action." Thanks Bob. Missed you.
I'm stopping at 40 minutes into this joke. Last sentence: "How bad do you want change?"
It's how "badly", Mike Dooley. 49 minutes to go. Badly.
Joe needs money
Not satisfied with what he is currently attracting from the universe, Joe Vitale has decided to take things into his own hands.
He is selling his audioprogram "The Missing Secret: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Attract What You Want - Every Time" on this website.
So what he's trying to tell me is that the BOOK wasn't enough, the DVD is not enough, I still need this AUDIOPROGRAM to teach me the missing parts of the Secret.
He asks:
The second question is exactly the same as the first, only he adds in "feelings" and the imaginary "Law of Attraction" to piggyback on the answer to the first question.
The third question is also an obvious "yes" - people screw up. Sometimes they say something unintentionally that results in a huge mess. Sometimes we offer to help and end up making a bigger mess.
The last one goes in for the kill. One can safely assume that the type of person reading this message probably believes in the Law of Attraction, feels it's only working "sometimes, but not all the time" (the way it is with everyone, that has nothing to do with any fake laws), so here is the solution, buy my spiffy new missing secret program.
I deduce from this that The Secret is indeed the huge heap of crap that I suspected it to be (and am slowly confirming right here) and now that people realise it doesn't work, Joe must find new ways of getting money from suckers.
Just in case some skeptics are reading his site, he casts his net wide: "If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you should order a copy of my new audioprogram: “The Missing Secret: How to Use The Law of Attraction to Attract What You Want — Every Time."
Joe continues to tease us: "In it, I’ll tell you everything I’ve learned, done, proven, and taught others about how to correctly use the Law of Attraction to consistently get the results you’re looking for..."
Ok, let's read that again. Joe will tell us how to correctly use the Law of Attraction. I should now direct your attention up towards the introduction on that page, just below his comparison of the "Law of Attraction" to the law of gravity. This is what he says:
"It’s a LAW - not a feel-good principle or some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out.
"How to eradicate the “virus of the mind”. Got negativity? The negative images that bombard you each day from all sides bear a lot of the blame. I’ll tell you how to protect yourself from these misery-magnets. Do these few things and you’ll notice an immediate change in what’s showing up in your life."
Next, Joe will be selling tinfoil hats to protect us from the negative signals being beamed into our heads from inside the hollow moon.
"The totally counter-intuitive belief that will make you wealthy. It helped me turn $15,000 into twice that with virtually no effort at all."
Lemme guess: "Scamming innocent people is not the bad idea your mother told you it was! Invest $15 000 in an audioprogram telling people how to think wealth and happiness into their lives, and watch your money double. Virtually no effort!"
"The single most mind-blowing story you’ll ever hear. I share it in Session 5 of The Missing Secret. To call it shocking would be an understatement. The best part? You will walk away from it with one of the most effective transformation tools ever discovered. The effects? Too incredible to describe. You’ll just have to find out for yourself."
I've had enough of his waffling. You can read the rest of it on his little site. You can even order it and pay the $119.95 without too much concern, because as Joe kindly reminds us: "Remember, there’s a one-year guarantee, too."
On the order site, there is even more! Look at this:
"Turn ANY desire into reality, using the proven 5-step Attractor Factor Process."
Wow.
"Begin to instantaneously heal injury, illness, disconnects, and more, using 4 simple phrases."
Double wow. Does Joe know about James Randi's prize? "I have instant healing powers" sounds like a shoo-in to me!
He is selling his audioprogram "The Missing Secret: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Attract What You Want - Every Time" on this website.
So what he's trying to tell me is that the BOOK wasn't enough, the DVD is not enough, I still need this AUDIOPROGRAM to teach me the missing parts of the Secret.
He asks:
- Are you getting some of what you want, but not all of it?
- Do you feel like the Law of Attraction “works” for you sometimes, but not all the time?
- Are there things in your life that seem to run counter to your conscious intentions?
- Have you already experienced the incredible power of the Law of Attraction, and are you ready to take it to a whole new level?
The second question is exactly the same as the first, only he adds in "feelings" and the imaginary "Law of Attraction" to piggyback on the answer to the first question.
The third question is also an obvious "yes" - people screw up. Sometimes they say something unintentionally that results in a huge mess. Sometimes we offer to help and end up making a bigger mess.
The last one goes in for the kill. One can safely assume that the type of person reading this message probably believes in the Law of Attraction, feels it's only working "sometimes, but not all the time" (the way it is with everyone, that has nothing to do with any fake laws), so here is the solution, buy my spiffy new missing secret program.
I deduce from this that The Secret is indeed the huge heap of crap that I suspected it to be (and am slowly confirming right here) and now that people realise it doesn't work, Joe must find new ways of getting money from suckers.
Just in case some skeptics are reading his site, he casts his net wide: "If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you should order a copy of my new audioprogram: “The Missing Secret: How to Use The Law of Attraction to Attract What You Want — Every Time."
Joe continues to tease us: "In it, I’ll tell you everything I’ve learned, done, proven, and taught others about how to correctly use the Law of Attraction to consistently get the results you’re looking for..."
Ok, let's read that again. Joe will tell us how to correctly use the Law of Attraction. I should now direct your attention up towards the introduction on that page, just below his comparison of the "Law of Attraction" to the law of gravity. This is what he says:
"It’s a LAW - not a feel-good principle or some kind of new-age voodoo flake-out.
You can’t “do” the Law of Attraction wrong. It doesn’t turn off and on, like a light switch. It’s not subject to fate or fancy. It is a powerful but neutral force that is constantly operational."
'Kay. I can't do it wrong. And yet, I must be doing it wrong, because Joe will show me how to use it correctly.
Other things that caught my eye:
"What this is all about is awakening.
I’m probably the only teacher in the movie The Secret that has stood my ground about this. I’ve taken heat for it, too. I feel like Freud when he introduced his idea of the unconscious mind in the late 1800s and was booed off stage.
He didn’t back down.
Neither have I."
No part of this is about "awakening". It's all about money. For Joe to compare himself to Freud is simply hilarious. And the idea that Freud was "booed off stage" is ridiculous. I have read several papers (here's an online one) indicating that the idea that Freud was ostracised by his peers is largely a myth. Even if his ideas about seduction theory were considered shocking, his ideas on the already known subject of unconsciousness were not. (Joe's statement is ambiguous, but if he's trying to say Freud came up with the idea of the unconscious mind, he did not.)
So Freud didn't back down after he was not booed off a stage for stating his perfectly accepted ideas on unconscious, so I don't know what Joe is trying to pull here. Maybe he's just continuing the trend of invoking the names of impressive people to try and envelop himself in an air of authority.
Joe: "How do you get rid of the inner roadblocks and go warp speed ahead, right to whatever it is you’re trying to achieve or attract?
It took me some time to figure out the answer to that question. But once I did, it was as if all the limits in and around me shattered."
He should've just watched The Secret. The universe likes speed, as I recall. And the key to achieving a speedy result is passion. Come now, Joe, we've been through this.
"I thought life was good before - but I had no idea it could be this good.
I thought I’d achieved a pretty high level of personal and professional success - but the success I experienced once I got clear absolutely blew me away."
Sounds like Joe has turned to Scientology.
"For every person who has told me how much the Law of Attraction has positively transformed his or her life, there have been three who have related a different experience:
Confusion.
Inconsistencies.
Frustration."
What? No! Surely not, Joe! So the secret to success is not merely to watch The Secret? Like you guys have been saying on The Secret? You're really destroying my will to watch the rest of it, Joe old buddy."How to eradicate the “virus of the mind”. Got negativity? The negative images that bombard you each day from all sides bear a lot of the blame. I’ll tell you how to protect yourself from these misery-magnets. Do these few things and you’ll notice an immediate change in what’s showing up in your life."
Next, Joe will be selling tinfoil hats to protect us from the negative signals being beamed into our heads from inside the hollow moon.
"The totally counter-intuitive belief that will make you wealthy. It helped me turn $15,000 into twice that with virtually no effort at all."
Lemme guess: "Scamming innocent people is not the bad idea your mother told you it was! Invest $15 000 in an audioprogram telling people how to think wealth and happiness into their lives, and watch your money double. Virtually no effort!"
"The single most mind-blowing story you’ll ever hear. I share it in Session 5 of The Missing Secret. To call it shocking would be an understatement. The best part? You will walk away from it with one of the most effective transformation tools ever discovered. The effects? Too incredible to describe. You’ll just have to find out for yourself."
I've had enough of his waffling. You can read the rest of it on his little site. You can even order it and pay the $119.95 without too much concern, because as Joe kindly reminds us: "Remember, there’s a one-year guarantee, too."
On the order site, there is even more! Look at this:
"Turn ANY desire into reality, using the proven 5-step Attractor Factor Process."
Wow.
"Begin to instantaneously heal injury, illness, disconnects, and more, using 4 simple phrases."
Double wow. Does Joe know about James Randi's prize? "I have instant healing powers" sounds like a shoo-in to me!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Oprah's Involvement
Even I heard that Oprah Winfrey endorses The Secret, and I rarely watch television. I found an article on Salon that I'd like to share with you.
I particularly appreciated this line: "Oprah hasn't just endorsed "The Secret"; she's championed it, put herself at the apex of its pyramid, and helped create a symbiotic economy of New Age quacks that almost puts OPEC to shame." [emphasis mine]
They feel much the same as I do, then.
I particularly appreciated this line: "Oprah hasn't just endorsed "The Secret"; she's championed it, put herself at the apex of its pyramid, and helped create a symbiotic economy of New Age quacks that almost puts OPEC to shame." [emphasis mine]
They feel much the same as I do, then.
I hope The Secret's shine has faded by now
Because I looked at some of the comments on Anita Quigley's Daily Telegraph blog, and it was discouraging. How long can a fool sustain this type of flimflammery? How long can someone delude themselves about their own mental powers without tiring of it? I hope most people have moved on by now. I'm only doing this for nraider, who hasn't even commented yet. I'll have to mail him right away.
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