Ok, from 7:59, let's go. [Play]
Fantastic news right at the beginning. "The law of attraction is always working. Whether you believe it or understand it or not. It's always working."
Hold on to your hats, lads - this is going to be some ride. I can see it in Bob's face.
More "activated thoughts" booming out of a lady's head. And now we're told that the law of attraction is "the most powerful law in the universe". While that one lady's booming thought is depicted spreading out over the entire earth and then growing outwards into space. The world is filled with some very silly people indeed.
Hmmm. "Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith D.D. - Visionary" takes over. He shares his insights with us unenlightened folk: "Creation is always happening. Every time an individual has a thought, or a prolonged, chronic way of thinking, they're in the creation process. Something is going to manifest out of those thoughts."
Then Jack Canfield explains the tired old tale we've been hearing for the past 6 minutes once again. If we focus on the negative, the universe will focus on it too and give it to us. The visual example is of a man trying to attract a waiter's attention. His thoughts - "bad service" - booms out into the universe and he gets rewarded with even worse service - the waiter spills food all over him.
Let's consider the Jews, for a minute. Sitting in concentration camps, presumably thinking very bad thoughts. Sad thoughts. Whahey! According to these most learned scholars and feng shui practitioners, they were only making the situation worse for themselves! If only they had focused on more pleasant thoughts, such as having a beer with Herr Hitler, the universe would've responded in kind! Like attracts like! Keep this in mind, for the future, everyone. Maybe we can let those poor Iraqis in on the secret - they should all think about the Americans evacuating. I can only assume they're all sitting around thinking "stop killing us", because obviously the universe won't understand that and kill even more of them instead.
We're on to Bill Harris, a therapist who is going to tell us all about his "student", Robert. Robert was gay, which I suspect will be important. Let's see. Ok, Robert emailed Bill all the "grim realities of his life". Robert worked in the worst place in the world, because his meany coworkers would leave bananas on his chair for him to sit on and squash. He goes on to tell us that he was accosted on every block of the street, by homophobic people. That's very strange, I'll have to look out for the homophobic people on every block. I didn't know they were so rampant! Do they guard blocks in shifts?
Here is Gay Robert trying his hand at stand up comedy.
Apparently everybody heckled him. We know being a stand-up comic can be tough. If the jokes aren't funny, you will likely be heckled. But wait! Robert was being heckled...for being GAY! Seriously. Forgive me now if I don't believe Bill Harris here. He's laying it on too thick. Attacked by coworkers, random strangers and the audience in a comedy club. For being homosexual. I'd have suggested to Robert that maybe he stop mentioning this little fact to people, because clearly he lives in Hatred, Hatesville in the state of Intolerance. Anyway. What happened to Robert once he uncovered the "most powerful law in the universe"?
Before we find out how Robert's life turned into a blissful one filled with sunshine and daisies, we are informed by Harris that PASSION accelerates the workings of The Secret. "When you focus on something with a lot of passion, it makes it happen even faster!" Mmmkay.
Robert started really trying to focus on the positive things that he wanted. To help him with this, he climbed into a tree and listened to what appears to be a Walkman. There is also a bug in the tree, in the lower left corner. I noticed, because I was bored.
BAM! The secret started working in, according to Harris, "the next six to eight weeks". And according to him it was "absolutely a miracle". Which is weird, because the secret is the most powerful law in the universe...right?
Law (scientific):
| a. | a statement of a relation or sequence of phenomena invariable under the same conditions. |
| b. | a mathematical rule. |
Not sure what to make of that statement, let's just add it to the handy pile of contradictory BS that comes free with your copy of The Secret.
Robert's miracle/obvious result was that all the employees who were bugging him were either transferred, quit, or stopped bugging him. He began to love his job. The homophobes gave up their watch posts on the block, because people were suddenly leaving him alone. He did his stand-up comedy routine (we can hear a bit of it - "I'm a very very gay man.") and got standing ovations. No, really.
Now we get to a man who should make a lot of sense. Or not, keeping in mind the nature of quantum mechanics and Feynman's famous quote. "Dr John Hagelin PH.D A.B. M.A. - Quantum Physicist" weighs in on the topic. Nothing new from him. Do you get their message yet? Because every new face just reiterates the same thing. "Happy, positive thoughts (or orientation, as Hagelin rephrases it) attract happy, positive events and angry, negative thoughts attract angry, negative events and people." I am so incredibly bored by now, I'm thinking of running to the gas station to grab some Coca-Cola, because Gay Robert walked past a Coke sign and it looked really red and pleasant. Too bad I'm in my pj's. I'm not au fait enough with the workings of the Secret yet, else I'd quickly materialise an icy cold Coke. I'd better continue and see what the next step is. If they're going to stick with "think positively" the whole way through, I'm doomed. Then the "most powerful law in the universe" is completely immune to my specific mental frequency.
Ooh, ok, new information from the "visionary" Beckwith. Your thoughts are registered by the universe whether they are conscious or unconscious. This is truly glorious! It seems you can make up anything in this film and they'll put it in! I have an advertising background and am trained to edit edit edit. If I got a hold of this reel, we'd have about 7 seconds of film left. "Don't worry. Be happy." That's what it boils down to. That's the Big Secret. Bobby McFerrin has been sharing the secret with us for years!
I am now on 11 minutes and 33 seconds. I'm not having fun yet.
"Dr John F Demartini D.C. BSc - Philosopher" feels that all we need to do is "open our eyes". "And look". He waves his hands as I imagine Moses might have done while attempting to part the sea. They all do. This is because they don't have any valid facts to convey. They're talking and talking but saying the same vacuous crap over and over, with a lot of hand motions. They're Jedi-wannabes. I'm not falling for it, though.
These people are clueless about causality. Here is their first "evidence" for the law of attraction. "The one who speaks most of illness, has it. The one who speaks most of prosperity, has it." That's an interesting statement. So if I pursue a career in cancer treatment and I focus on cancer passionately, will I get cancer? According to this law, I should. In a hurry too, since I have so much passion.
Any sane person would understand that we talk about the things that are relevant to our lives at any given moment. If I get a new car, I will likely be talking about my new car incessantly and boring everyone with the specs of my new car, from the moment I decide to get a new car, til long after I have it. It's only natural. I don't have cancer right now, nor do I know anyone who has it, so I'm not going to bring it up during conversation often. The minute I get cancer, you'll be hearing a lot about my cancer. I can state with a high degree of certainty that the "one who has illness" didn't speak about illness much at all before the "universe" struck them with their afflictions. More BS. Add it to the pile.
"The law of attraction is evident everywhere around you, if you are understanding what it is. It has to do with you being a magnet." I'm getting a bit miffed here. Magnet. Pah!
Oh finally, something to make me smile! "Fred Alan Wolf Ph.D - Quantum Physicist" wants me to know that he's not talking to me from the point of view of just [here he goes a bit spastic] "wishful thinking" or [here he puts on a hilarious voice and accent] "imaginary...craziness". I've been wrong these past 12 minutes and 28 seconds, then! Please, Quantum Physicist, enlighten me!
"I'm talking to you from a deeper, basic understanding."
Whooosh! The screen is filled with scientific looking tubes. All black and silver. Very alien technology type shot here.
"Quantum physics really begins to point to this [he makes a vigorous rolling motion with his hands] discovery. It says that you can't have a universe without mind entering into it."
Well, what do you know? I admit that I am not one of the, what is it, seven people, who purports to understand quantum mechanics. But what little I do know of it, is that it categorically does not claim what he says it does. For all the sense it makes, this man could have been talking about the mating habits of Martians.
Allow me to paraphrase what he has said so far: "This isn't the quackery you think it is. I'm talking to you from a deeper understanding, but I can't clarify what that understanding is. This branch of science that very few people understand and you most likely don't, points to this discovery that I won't identify for you. This difficult branch of science that you won't understand says that this universe cannot exist without our minds involved in it somehow."
We continue. He states that "The mind is actually shaping the very thing that is being perceived." Bob, looking quite angry now, informs us that "If you don't understand it, doesn't mean you should reject that!" Thing is, Bob, my understanding of the universe, the laws of physics and life in general is not exactly lacking. I understand all too well that you are all a bunch of deceitful people out to make money out of those with open minds. I understand that if you really believe in what you are saying, you should not be allowed to dress yourself in the mornings. You should be sitting in a chair in a nice, friendly place somewhere, drooling into a bib. But you're not, so I can only assume that you are being deceitful on purpose. I understand your mendacity, Bob, and I am disgusted.
Bob patronizes us further by telling us that we probably don't understand electricity. "First of all, no one even knows what electricity is! And yet you enjoy the benefits of it. You know how it works. I don't know how it works. But I do know this. That you can cook a man's dinner with electricity...and you can also cook the man!"
This is what I meant by the creationist method of tossing so much crap out at once that the opponent won't even know where to start!
All of those who studied science at school understands electricity - how it works and what it is. I guess Bob skipped that part of school. First of all, we DO KNOW what electricity is, Bob. The term describes a lot of concepts, so you can study it in depth here or get a basic understanding here. It's not rocket science, honestly! Yes, I enjoy the benefits of electricity. Now he says I do know how it works. Ok, he's catching up. Bob still doesn't know how it works, but we know that already. You can certainly cook a dinner by utilizing electricity correctly, through a number of electrical devices, in existence today only through our understanding of electricity that Bob occasionally questions. I hope the last part was a joke.
What's the point here? Bob wants to tell us that we don't understand electricity -> we use it anyway -> we don't understand the "law of attraction" -> we should use it anyway.
The problem is that Bob starts off from a false premise. We do understand electricity, quite extensively, we can see it, hear it, feel it, test it, use it. This "secret" is complete bogus, it does not share a single characteristic with the concept of electricity and so everything that Bob just said is a load of nonsense.
Apparently when we begin to understand the "big secret", we often become frightened. I'm a little frightened right now, when I think how many people paid for this DVD and how many people are walking around on this planet right now, thinking they control the universe with the power of their minds. Beckwith shares with us two things:
"One. It has been proven now scientifically, that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought."
WTF? Really? People fall for this? Where has it been proven? By whom? When? I want names, I want references to the journals that published these findings. In what way is this "power" of thought measured? In electrical current? These people become more ignorant with each minute that passes. Some lady is talking now, so I'm waiting to hear "number two".
The lady explains how we really don't want to be in an environment where our thoughts serve us immediately. The scene shows a man looking at a postcard of an elephant and instantly an elephant is standing in his living room. Obviously this is not what we want, but as far as I can tell, this is what the secret promises, with a time lapse. It can "materialize" our thoughts. Presumably the elephant won't appear immediately, but it has at least started its journey towards Baldy when he looked at the postcard and started sending out his mental elephant vibes.
We are told that we want to be aware of our thoughts, we want to choose them carefully and we want to have fun with this. Nothing wrong with this statement. We should be aware of our thoughts. That's what consciousness is about. We should choose our thoughts as carefully as we can - some thoughts can't be stopped, but we should certainly not try to wallow in the negative all the time. It's not good for our mental health. We do want to have fun with our thoughts. I daydream all the time! I particularly enjoy involving Johnny Depp in my mental shenanigans, because I'm all about having fun. We should, however, draw the line there. These people go on to say that our thoughts have a power outside of our heads. They do not. They can only affect us. And even in that, they're not always very effective.
At 14 minutes and 34 seconds the story seems to change, so I'll end this post here and continue with part three in a new post.
I'm a naturally happy person, but I have to say this film is starting to depress me. It's just too ridiculous, and yet here it is, permeating the earth. How bizarre.
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